MEXICAN RIVIERA...MEXICAN FOOD PVER STYLE....

THE first thing FIRST...YOU KNOW MEXICAN RIVIERA IS PVERED OWNED BY THE MURAL ON THE WALL. If you look closely, the artist SOMEHOW included PV in the BACKGROUND like it was supposed to BE there are something. WE all KNOW PV blocks SOUTH SWELLS, therefore to have WAVES that PERFECT bending into TORRANCE at that direction is not feasible one bit! Let's just SAY the artist took some PVER liberties (and a fat paycheck to undermine they're integrity) on that one.

SECOND, almost every waiter on staff is a PVER. The SAME PVER that will key your car and slash your tires, throw rocks at you from on top of the cliff, and BURN you on every wave even if you're the only dude out is serving you and guests some gringo-fied, bland, overpriced carne asada.

Third, the reason why they claim "voted best Margarita in the Village" can be figured out on two variables. First, the only other two Mexican restaurants in the Village don't serve Margaritas or haven't really came back from a rat infestation panic a decade or so ago. SECOND, they crush they ice with bloody diamonds.

Fourth, NO SPICE, NO MENUDO, NO PASTOR, NO HARRACHA, NO CABEZA, NO GLASS BOTTLE COKES, NO LOS TIGRES DEL NORTE, NO B rating...PVER!

STARBUCKS was closed in the RIVVY this morning.....PVERS almost rioted.....

Starbucks was closed for renovations in the Rivera Village today. A group of PVERS freaked out, organized in front, but instead of shouting....just whined about how they "had" to go to the less trendy Coffee Bean that didn't carry the correct type of espresso machine. The Torrance dudes sat back and laughed from the Chevron while drinking their Van Horn $1.00 Coffee, this is included little r. The renovations include a more PVER-friendly environment with 50 different types of wine, coffee beans crushed with bloody black market diamonds, and the Phish channel playing from an elite sound system.

TORRANCE SIGN...the best SIGN IN the WORLD!

THE BEST SIGN...still holding the fort after all these years....gone is the VAGABOND MOTEL...PVER-FIED for some yuppie condos...you know the type PVERS buy 'cause they don't make enough money to live on the hill, so they buy in Torrance with their trust-funds...across the street, Bristol Farms, another PVER strong hold....the tremors of BRISTOL FARMs changed the WHOLE landscape of the RIVVY and the GROCERY MARKET SCENE...YOU KNOW, then they PVER-ed out VONS and ALBERtSONS.....no MORE can you buy tallies for under a dollar....yeah, fuck that shit....atleast they haven't tore down the old Frankie Avalon PLACE for a fucking GELATADO store and shit.

Tall Cans and Teenage Sex with Boner Machine story for the EasyReader

http://www.easyreadernews.com/2010/08/arts-and-nightlife/teenage-sex-and-boner



CHECK it OUT!

TALL CANS and TEENAGE SEX with BONER MACHINE...ALL PHOTOS BY: Jason WEBSTER

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TALL CANS AND TEENAGE SEX THIS SATURDAY...WITH BONER MACHINE.....

TALL CANS AND TEENAGE SEX this Saturday at Kilkenny's with BONERMACHINE (who I think is a much better band because the lead singer is a chick and is very hot.

JULY fourth WEEKEND part 1

Let's just start off to say that July Forth started on Thursday this year with Devo playing Hollywork park.

And the cool thing about a Devo concert, PVERS hate that shit. If there isn't at least one 13 minute guitar solo "that shows the band has good musicianship," PVER go deaf to it. I had a PVER once tell me "I'm a musician, so I only like good bands with good musicians." So you're saying some "good musician" who forgo a normal life and sat in a room all day shlacking and banging the six string can only play good music 'cause he can make random chirps on scale to the same GOD DAMN stagnant beat.. If we tricked 300 PVERS and made them pay a ridiculous amount of money (like in the $10,000 range, 'cause they can afford it) to attend a Phish concert at Armstong theater behind the plunge, but really locked the doors and had DEVO open up and the newest Torrance upstart band, Tall Cans and Teenage Sex close the show...the PVERS would all crash and die like the gas chamber or something.That would be cool.

The rest to follow.......Tall Cans and Teenage Sex July 31st with Kisstology......
FUCKIN TAK OUTTA HERE

FRONTIER DAYS

Frontier DAYS went off this weekend...the beer garden was rockin...the Hash band fucking rocked....A lot of Torrance Scumfucks held the fort claiming the garden while the PVers cruised around eye-fuckin all the crap in faire....you know, the art stuff like the melted bottles of vino or the Woodcut block letters that name the name of some shitty band like Aerosmith or Jimmy Buffet...This shit makes PVERS blow there minds.....PVers love useless knickknacks...that kind of shit that'll end up at the PV resale on Pacific Coast High in Lomas aka Lomita near the Norms down the street from the GoldClub and about a mile South of where the PARASOL used to be. At this festival, I was fortunate to cruise around with a very special Torrance chick, Madoosh. Madoosh is a straight-up south Torrance chick, no sloppy redundant tattoos, no shitty black poodle dyed hair (that's more of the breed that inhabits east of sepulvda and south of Hawthorne). Naturally Beautiful and ready to party...she took some killer shots and made the point to call "Frontier Days," Frontier Days (it's God given name), and not the PVer inspired Summer Festival. When I get those shots, I'll post them. Her dad kicked down a few beers to Little Mike and I, so we were stoked. Being a Torrancian, I was broke and couldn't get him back....Maybe next year.

PVER's are slowly INVADING Torrance!

My goal with the conception of this blog is to bring awareness to the current situation of the PVER invasion of Torrance. As you can see, the Riviera Village has been already consumed by the Jam Band, Phish-loving,conglomerate. All along Catalina, Wine or "Vino" bars line up, Henneseys charges $6 a pint, and PVER mothers in SUV's go window shopping. Hopefully the PVERs don't become body snatchers by leaving the children alone and staying away from our schools. Imagine Junior coming home wearing $100 holey jeans and a Grateful Dead tie-die. This blog also is a true praise of the Torrancian Hertiage of being a scumfuck. In ode to the true Torrancian I give you the best motherfucking movie of all time! "The Stoned AGE".
best line ever (GO TO 30 SECONDS): "What else are we going to do? I don't know, there's got be something more than driving around Torrance trying to get drunk stoned and laid."