Monday, August 16, 2010

MEXICAN RIVIERA...MEXICAN FOOD PVER STYLE....

THE first thing FIRST...YOU KNOW MEXICAN RIVIERA IS PVERED OWNED BY THE MURAL ON THE WALL. If you look closely, the artist SOMEHOW included PV in the BACKGROUND like it was supposed to BE there are something. WE all KNOW PV blocks SOUTH SWELLS, therefore to have WAVES that PERFECT bending into TORRANCE at that direction is not feasible one bit! Let's just SAY the artist took some PVER liberties (and a fat paycheck to undermine they're integrity) on that one.

SECOND, almost every waiter on staff is a PVER. The SAME PVER that will key your car and slash your tires, throw rocks at you from on top of the cliff, and BURN you on every wave even if you're the only dude out is serving you and guests some gringo-fied, bland, overpriced carne asada.

Third, the reason why they claim "voted best Margarita in the Village" can be figured out on two variables. First, the only other two Mexican restaurants in the Village don't serve Margaritas or haven't really came back from a rat infestation panic a decade or so ago. SECOND, they crush they ice with bloody diamonds.

Fourth, NO SPICE, NO MENUDO, NO PASTOR, NO HARRACHA, NO CABEZA, NO GLASS BOTTLE COKES, NO LOS TIGRES DEL NORTE, NO B rating...PVER!

Saturday, August 14, 2010

STARBUCKS was closed in the RIVVY this morning.....PVERS almost rioted.....

Starbucks was closed for renovations in the Rivera Village today. A group of PVERS freaked out, organized in front, but instead of shouting....just whined about how they "had" to go to the less trendy Coffee Bean that didn't carry the correct type of espresso machine. The Torrance dudes sat back and laughed from the Chevron while drinking their Van Horn $1.00 Coffee, this is included little r. The renovations include a more PVER-friendly environment with 50 different types of wine, coffee beans crushed with bloody black market diamonds, and the Phish channel playing from an elite sound system.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

TORRANCE SIGN...the best SIGN IN the WORLD!

THE BEST SIGN...still holding the fort after all these years....gone is the VAGABOND MOTEL...PVER-FIED for some yuppie condos...you know the type PVERS buy 'cause they don't make enough money to live on the hill, so they buy in Torrance with their trust-funds...across the street, Bristol Farms, another PVER strong hold....the tremors of BRISTOL FARMs changed the WHOLE landscape of the RIVVY and the GROCERY MARKET SCENE...YOU KNOW, then they PVER-ed out VONS and ALBERtSONS.....no MORE can you buy tallies for under a dollar....yeah, fuck that shit....atleast they haven't tore down the old Frankie Avalon PLACE for a fucking GELATADO store and shit.

Saturday, August 7, 2010