Monday, August 16, 2010

MEXICAN RIVIERA...MEXICAN FOOD PVER STYLE....

THE first thing FIRST...YOU KNOW MEXICAN RIVIERA IS PVERED OWNED BY THE MURAL ON THE WALL. If you look closely, the artist SOMEHOW included PV in the BACKGROUND like it was supposed to BE there are something. WE all KNOW PV blocks SOUTH SWELLS, therefore to have WAVES that PERFECT bending into TORRANCE at that direction is not feasible one bit! Let's just SAY the artist took some PVER liberties (and a fat paycheck to undermine they're integrity) on that one.

SECOND, almost every waiter on staff is a PVER. The SAME PVER that will key your car and slash your tires, throw rocks at you from on top of the cliff, and BURN you on every wave even if you're the only dude out is serving you and guests some gringo-fied, bland, overpriced carne asada.

Third, the reason why they claim "voted best Margarita in the Village" can be figured out on two variables. First, the only other two Mexican restaurants in the Village don't serve Margaritas or haven't really came back from a rat infestation panic a decade or so ago. SECOND, they crush they ice with bloody diamonds.

Fourth, NO SPICE, NO MENUDO, NO PASTOR, NO HARRACHA, NO CABEZA, NO GLASS BOTTLE COKES, NO LOS TIGRES DEL NORTE, NO B rating...PVER!

Saturday, August 14, 2010

STARBUCKS was closed in the RIVVY this morning.....PVERS almost rioted.....

Starbucks was closed for renovations in the Rivera Village today. A group of PVERS freaked out, organized in front, but instead of shouting....just whined about how they "had" to go to the less trendy Coffee Bean that didn't carry the correct type of espresso machine. The Torrance dudes sat back and laughed from the Chevron while drinking their Van Horn $1.00 Coffee, this is included little r. The renovations include a more PVER-friendly environment with 50 different types of wine, coffee beans crushed with bloody black market diamonds, and the Phish channel playing from an elite sound system.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

TORRANCE SIGN...the best SIGN IN the WORLD!

THE BEST SIGN...still holding the fort after all these years....gone is the VAGABOND MOTEL...PVER-FIED for some yuppie condos...you know the type PVERS buy 'cause they don't make enough money to live on the hill, so they buy in Torrance with their trust-funds...across the street, Bristol Farms, another PVER strong hold....the tremors of BRISTOL FARMs changed the WHOLE landscape of the RIVVY and the GROCERY MARKET SCENE...YOU KNOW, then they PVER-ed out VONS and ALBERtSONS.....no MORE can you buy tallies for under a dollar....yeah, fuck that shit....atleast they haven't tore down the old Frankie Avalon PLACE for a fucking GELATADO store and shit.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

TALL CANS AND TEENAGE SEX THIS SATURDAY...WITH BONER MACHINE.....

TALL CANS AND TEENAGE SEX this Saturday at Kilkenny's with BONERMACHINE (who I think is a much better band because the lead singer is a chick and is very hot.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

JULY fourth WEEKEND part 1

Let's just start off to say that July Forth started on Thursday this year with Devo playing Hollywork park.

And the cool thing about a Devo concert, PVERS hate that shit. If there isn't at least one 13 minute guitar solo "that shows the band has good musicianship," PVER go deaf to it. I had a PVER once tell me "I'm a musician, so I only like good bands with good musicians." So you're saying some "good musician" who forgo a normal life and sat in a room all day shlacking and banging the six string can only play good music 'cause he can make random chirps on scale to the same GOD DAMN stagnant beat.. If we tricked 300 PVERS and made them pay a ridiculous amount of money (like in the $10,000 range, 'cause they can afford it) to attend a Phish concert at Armstong theater behind the plunge, but really locked the doors and had DEVO open up and the newest Torrance upstart band, Tall Cans and Teenage Sex close the show...the PVERS would all crash and die like the gas chamber or something.That would be cool.

The rest to follow.......Tall Cans and Teenage Sex July 31st with Kisstology......
FUCKIN TAK OUTTA HERE